Friday, March 10, 2023

Why We Do the Things We Do!


What if there was a way to figure out WHY we do the things we do? Why we get blocked, why we get angry over the little things, why we hurt for no reason? What if in a few days, weeks or months you could be guided to release these beliefs and find peace!! What if along the way you would learn easy tools to handle those old beliefs in a NEW way? Would that be worth it? Would having more peace, self love, understanding be worth it? Are you worth it?

 Understanding Why We Do the Things We do! Life happens and sometimes we wonder, “Why did I do that?” Or, “why did he/she do this?” It becomes second nature to question ourselves and, really, for no good reason. We do what we do because it is how we learned to do what we do. Does this mean there is no hope? Of course not!!! It means that as you become aware of those things that you wish you’d done a different way, you now have the power to look more closely at it and find a new way to handle it in the future. Now that you are looking at it, it will show itself often and you will get the chance to practice your new way of “handling” it and, hopefully get a more meaningful outcome. I know this seems simple and it is. Just like with any new idea, it takes practice and a little getting used to. You may run into things like, “hey, why are you acting like that” or, “you’re NOT mad?!” Sometimes there will be an expectation of how you will act, even a trigger response will want to fire. But now that you are aware, it becomes so much easier to respond in a new and healthier way. Suddenly you are present and this gives you more choices and that feels good. And it honors who you are. 

But, back to WHY we do the things we do. We have been programed our whole lives by the lessons we had as children, not only by the events but how we interpreted them. As a child one may have been nipped by a dog and decided from then on that all dogs bite, therefore, I HATE DOGS. Later in life you might fall in love with this super special person and everything is going great and they invite you to dinner at their house where they will be cooking you a fabulous meal. Low and behold, you are greeted and drooled over by a huge fluffy mop of a dog with whom your soul mate is also superbly connected to. Is it time to bolt or to change your belief system around dogs? We get programed early in life, and, many times we create rules around our ‘experiences’ that create beliefs that can keep us from growing and learning and flowing with the nature of life. How many people have you encountered that say or behave as though they’re stuck in an old story? Maybe they are repeating a pattern you recognize because you’ve known them through a few cycles of this pattern. Our tendency is to back off and say, “Oh for the love of Pete, get over it!” What we need to understand is that they’d love to get over it but they are stuck in the story, the emotion that is attached to it and they  they don’t know how to get out. They need a better understanding of why they do the thing they do. This is what a great coach can do for you. Help you to find a way out of this disillusioning, paralyzing  and energy consuming pattern. It takes understanding, courage and desire to create a healthier way to handle life. And there are many ways to do this. Having someone to guide you and coach you to your own outcomes is the fastest and easiest way. 

A few tips:

1 Is this about me?

2 How can I help?

3 Is it time to step back?

4 How can I serve the greater good?


Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Dog Poop to Rubies

 


Today I met with a friend for coffee at the local bakery. An elderly gentleman named Ron asked if he and his friend could share our 4 top table with us and we welcomed them. He wondered if he could share a resent story with us, He wanted to tell us a tragedy to triumph story with us. He said his wife had recently passed, and that when they got married they had used a local artist/jeweler to make their rings-rose gold and rubies for hers and regular gold and rubies for his. After she passed he'd lost his ring, he'd lost so much weight that it had slipped off somewhere. He revisited all of his previous steps of that day he lost his ring and could not find it. He and his wife shared two Rottweilers and one day, as he was preparing for guests to visit he found a pile of poop behind the guest bed. He was really suprised as this was the very first time either of the dogs ever pooped inside. He has Parkinsons and his hands shook slightly as he told this story. He said that he he was not able to get to the leakage that had run under the bed, so he had disconnected the mop top from the mop handle and gently reached under to wipe up what had migrated under the bed. When he pulled out the mophead, his ring was inmeshed in the strands. You see, one thing lead to another. His tradegy of losing the ring, then his faithful dog pooping in the guest room leading him right to the ring. He laughed. We all fell in love with the story teller. 

Storytelling is a gift we all have in us. As children we tell stories, we make up invisable friends and name turtles. We create havens we call forts out of palm fronds, coconuts and flotsam. We overstate things at times. We florish on stories that seem dull. We express some  stories so vividly that we captivate others in the web. Stories are everything in our life. Tragic as well as awesome. Depressing as well as inspiring. But we have to listen. We have to take the time to pay attention. In stories we find compassion, connection, understand and shared grief. Not only in small bites, but in big beautiful tales of life. 

Books tell stories. We learn to read and read to learn. We read to escape. We read to understand. Books are the stories of life and evolution. They teach us math, sociology, science and so much more. And all of them come from stories. The story of Madame Currie, Albert Einstein, Steven Job, even Elon Musk. He was influenced greatly by stories of the inventer Nikolai Tesla. They all have a story of life, of what makes them tick, what made they step outside the box and be exceptional. And maybe they were influenced by stories as children. Something that made they curious. Something that tweeked their thoughts and created new ideas that they shared with others. And became amazing people and inventers. 

So, next time someone wants to share a story, sit down with a cup of coffee/tea and listen and be influenced. Be present. Be respectful. Create a new story!

                                                                    


Wednesday, June 22, 2022

We Teach to Learn

 


One of the greatest lessons from the Course in Miracles  is that to teach is to learn and the other way around. I have learned that every situation, good, bad, ugly is a lesson. The work is whether or not you get it. The lesson does not have to be some huge AHA moment or a humbling experience, it has to be an opportunity to grow. Growth is movement. And it the middle of this movement is forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves as well as others. Forgiving ourselves for not seeing things more clearly, for not deciding differently, for putting up with stuff our sane mind would never tolerate, for not being stronger and so much more. We are hardest on ourselves. Forgiveness for not recognizing our own grace!! Compared to that, forgiving others is, well, interesting.

How do we do this? As in the Wizard of Oz, you must have brain, a heart, courage and a desire to go home. 

People are not just their actions, they have a long history of life behind them that has shaped their decisions, behaviors, even their bodies. And, sometimes, we do not get to understand   WHY PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY DO. Another great lesson for me. 

"Why?" "Why not?" "Why would they do that?" The questions go on and on. The Book says that this is the Ego talking, creating doubt, gaslighting you. Now ,mind you, the Ego has its place but in today's society it has run rampant and out of control and it kills. People, hopes, dreams, families. So, it does take a little work and Faith to calm it down and see the Truth before you. 

I never believed that newborns were born "dumb". I looked into the eyes of enough babies in my 26 years in Labor and Delivery to know that there is something magnetic about those eyes. When you are born with a brain that is one third your body weight, it can not be completely empty and there is plenty of research to support that now. They're  a juicy sponge, they hear clearly, they have a powerful smell receptor, they can sense movement, they can quickly learn to communicate, they dream. This was always a mystery to me while holding a newborn, their body  twitch, their eyes  move under their lids,  their lips  move. I would wonder, WHAT ARE THEY DREAMING? They have been in a warm dark womb for nine months!!!! Are they remembering comversation that happened while they were inside? Are they remembering a past life? Why?

So it is in life we learn to shut down our hearts as though this is the only way to get through stuff. And the key here is that we do get through it. For some it seems impossible and others they tuck away the disappointment and pain. Some just get up and say, NEXT! There are so many options for this. It is important to remember that each event, each tragic moment , each loss offers you a gift, a learning. It may take a bit to see this but when you look back it comes to you. The look of love on your spouses face the moment your first child is born,  a celebrated birthday, intimacy, sharing an ice cream together, buying your first home. All are what makes up the tapestry of your lifetime together-long or short. And that is what your lesson is. Not the behavior or the decisions made in the end. Why hold on to that? Why not hold on to the good and great that occurred on the journey? 

It is a learning. To stop the negative self talk and  try a little tenderness. For yourself. Think of one of those magic moments and be grateful for it. Recognize what you are fearing, and, talk about it. Get it in the open, write it down and learn to forgive it and let it go. Tiny steps for inner peace. Follow the movement of the trees as the breeze blows through. Focus on a hummingbird and the miraculousness of its movements. Love on an animal. Talk with someone and listen. Tiny steps to peace and freedom and harmony. Be present for someone. Be the lesson you want to share.
Be the Love you wish to see.

Thursday, June 16, 2022

Hacked. Hacked in, hacked on, hacked off!




 How do people do it? How do they have the audacity to call someone up (someone like their mother, grandmother, sister, aunt....) and lie and steal from them? Take up hours of your time on repairing a monster of their own making, convincing you that your computer will CRASH AND BURN with everything lost. They convince you that this is your own fault, that you were unprotected from "these hackers", and you must pay them to fix it.

It all started one beautiful morning my computer started wailing and sending out big red letters saying DON'T TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER, YOU HAVE BEEN HACKED. CALL THIS NUMBER IMMMEDIATELY. DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER!!!! Knowing how much work I had left to do, I stupidly called. And spent the next 2 hours arguing with some...person.. somewhere in another world. A world where cheating people and harrassing them is A-OK. And after hours of fear of losing all my data (according to this ...person) I fork up a ridiculous amount of credit card debt just to get off the phone. And it did not end there. They got their money, now they want you to talk to their "billing expert". And after that  a young woman (whose mother would be sooo ashamed) ask you how was the service and you explain in clear, precise English that it was awful. And after you get off this most  humiliating phone experience all that is left to do is to cry. Cry because you just paid these persons to allow them control of your computer and nearly your accounts. And it's not over.



Every couple of days their number comes up and they want to chat with you about the service, "is everything going okay, make sure you don't call Microsoft for help, call us"until you refuse to answer, so next.....

They let you know that they have to refund all your money to you because the Better Business Bureau requires them to refund you because of a computer glitch on their end and they must refund you . And it begins again, the lengthy phone call, the hacking and suddenly YOU KNOW it is BS and you turn all the connections to them off and the ...person..starts calling you a f**king b**ch. And you hang up, only to have them call you back as though they are a "manager" and soon, they are back to calling you names. You hang up. And you stop answering and they continue to call everyday often and then it peters off and you take your computer to a reputable computer repair person who looks at you like you're dumb for not knowing right away you were being screwed. 

It is a painful experience and that is why I write about it. I consider myself pretty tech savvy and I fell for it. All the alarms going off with sounds I have never heard come from my computer really put me on edge. The correct thing to have done (against what my computer was screaming at me) is  TURN IT OFF. Hard exit, hold down the off button until it dies and call a reputable computer geek.

These persons are well spoken little monsters, it was easy to fall into conversation with them and to miss the signs that they were not legit. It was a painful learning experience that I would not wish on anyone (except these persons). And so I share it with you.



Tuesday, May 3, 2022

My head feels like a mudpie....

 

Who says retirement is a cakewalk. I think you have to ease into it because if your blast into it as I did, it takes at least six months to come up for air. It zapped me of energy as I crashed head on into the millions of things that one can do when there is more time. I was exhausted just imagining all that I could do! And most stayed right there in my mind. Until now.

Now, all the imaging and training and meditating has produced something tangible and exciting. I am alive again with so much mental energy that it is hard to step down to breathe. I have to play that meditative music to slow down those ideas and put them to paper. 

Life can seem so complex. I used to feel guilty for sitting and staring out the window. Or for wanting to nap. Now it is the only way to slow down and it is worth it. I am worth it! 



Spring here in White Salmon has been bliss!! Every single flower is blasting to show off its outstanding glory. All the bright new leaves are a flutter with excitement to be able to be born again. The red leaves, too! 

Life is stunning! As I ground myself every morning into the earth (I imagine I am attached to the earth by a root system burrowed deep) I feel my strength and love for this great world I life and work in deep in my heart. I am so Blessed!! Not because my life is any less complicated than anothers, but, because I appreciate every little thing. The tinkle of the chimes outside my windows, the wind blowing fiercely through the red oak across the road, the sunlight, the blue sky and my hands and eyes and electricity. Oh and my favorite -HOT WATER FROM A SPICKET!

We are the lucky ones! I am so blessed, grateful and humbled!! 

And so it is!!



Wednesday, April 27, 2022

TAKING BACK YOUR GODDESS-An ongoing women's confab for growth and understanding

                                         TAKING BACK

               
              YOUR GODDESS
 


A Women’s Prayer and Meditation Confab 


How do we heal? 

How do we help others in easy and meaningful ways? 

How do we manage peacefully?


Start with something simple. 

 

Please join like-minded women of our community for prayers, conversation and meditation on topics for growth and understanding.  

Every other Wednesday starting 5/11 at 5:30pm 

In White Salmon and BZ corners 

Space is limited. Email roatancis@gmail.com

or text 239-290-9676 

 to sign up. Cost is devotional. 

Cis Ahearn RN/Life-guide. 

Thursday, January 20, 2022

Hold Your Breath for the Count of Ten....



I've been quiet for a while. Easy to say there's lots going on, but, so what. Who's life is not a bit complicated right now? And I am not going to repeat all the cliches out there about all the garbage being dumped on us from all sides in an effort to confuse us and frighten us.

 Not being interested in being bombarded by much too much media information, I chose to be selective about what I read. It is possible that what I read may be false information as well, but, most of it is written sans emotion and flair. I am interested in facts. So I do focus on the science, I read the VAERS reports, I listen to all sorts of physicians and scientists, sometimes dumbfounded by what the media has missed or mis-represented, but, it is because this world has gotten very comfortable with altering the Truth. It's a sad fact. And no wonder people can't figure out what the heck is going on and tend towards the simplest answer. Too much mis-information, how can anyone know for sure what is right? You can terrorize people with too much noise, too much stimulation, physical abuse, mental abuse. Think Gitmo.  And we have had a bit of that this last year and a half. 

Yet some of us still stand in our truth. We still see the goodness available for us if we chose to shift our focus. When we know we have a limited amount of time on this gorgeous planet, why are we wasting it on those things we have little control over? Why turn on a TV rather than open a window? Go for a walk? Read a good 



Book? Enjoy a drive? Watch a sunset? Your time is all you have- is watching endless TV and reading the same stuff over and over what you really want to remember when you are at your death bed? Get out of your house! Go clear your mind at the beach, in the woods, on a mountain peak, wherever you can step back from the noise and just Be. Listen. Smell. Feel the natural world and get refilled. Being alone is not lonely, it is cleansing. Being quiet is a scarey thing only if you let it be. Hold your breath for the count of 10. There, you were alone and survived. It is that simple. 

As much as I have loved my media toys, I reluctantly set them down and walk away. I think back to when I wrote tons of letters to family and friends. It required thinking in the moment and sharing life. It was expression without a snapshot. I remember worrying about staying on the phone too long because it cost more. So you had to get all the important stuff said in a short time. The conversation were intimate and some times hard. Now, nothing is really private. Intimacy is an act rather than a personal event. What now?

 I find I need great compassion for those loved ones and others who drank the kool-aid and are now seeing the Truth. Doubt (is it really true) takes over fear (of death-the only guarantee) and then humility (am I wrong). Hard for your average American to take. But compassion is what is needed.

 "Forgive them for they know not what they do". There is a shift happening now. Some find it harder  to ask, "what if I'm wrong?" than to ask," what if I'm right?" and to answer truthfully. Yet both questions are important. And it takes courage to actually ask someone either question with regards to the present situation in the world. Both answers help to shift you, ever so slightly, to a more rounded understanding. I always say, " awareness is 50% of the cure". Many people don't even know that they don't know (the Truth). Yet, when you can offer them the opportunity to explore their own inner thoughts by these two questions, shift happens. And compassion prevails. And there is Light.