We Teach to Learn

 

One of the greatest lessons from the Course in Miracles  is that to teach is to learn and the other way around. I have learned that every situation, good, bad, ugly is a lesson. The work is whether or not you get it. The lesson does not have to be some huge AHA moment or a humbling experience, it has to be an opportunity to grow. Growth is movement. And it the middle of this movement is forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves as well as others. Forgiving ourselves for not seeing things more clearly, for not deciding differently, for putting up with stuff our sane mind would never tolerate, for not being stronger and so much more. We are hardest on ourselves. Forgiveness for not recognizing our own grace!! Compared to that, forgiving others is, well, interesting.

How do we do this? As in the Wizard of Oz, you must have brain, a heart, courage and a desire to go home. 

People are not just their actions, they have a long history of life behind them that has shaped their decisions, behaviors, even their bodies. And, sometimes, we do not get to understand   WHY PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY DO. Another great lesson for me. 

"Why?" "Why not?" "Why would they do that?" The questions go on and on. The Book says that this is the Ego talking, creating doubt, gaslighting you. Now ,mind you, the Ego has its place but in today's society it has run rampant and out of control and it kills. People, hopes, dreams, families. So, it does take a little work and Faith to calm it down and see the Truth before you. 

I never believed that newborns were born "dumb". I looked into the eyes of enough babies in my 26 years in Labor and Delivery to know that there is something magnetic about those eyes. When you are born with a brain that is one third your body weight, it can not be completely empty and there is plenty of research to support that now. They're  a juicy sponge, they hear clearly, they have a powerful smell receptor, they can sense movement, they can quickly learn to communicate, they dream. This was always a mystery to me while holding a newborn, their body  twitch, their eyes  move under their lids,  their lips  move. I would wonder, WHAT ARE THEY DREAMING? They have been in a warm dark womb for nine months!!!! Are they remembering comversation that happened while they were inside? Are they remembering a past life? Why?

So it is in life we learn to shut down our hearts as though this is the only way to get through stuff. And the key here is that we do get through it. For some it seems impossible and others they tuck away the disappointment and pain. Some just get up and say, NEXT! There are so many options for this. It is important to remember that each event, each tragic moment , each loss offers you a gift, a learning. It may take a bit to see this but when you look back it comes to you. The look of love on your spouses face the moment your first child is born,  a celebrated birthday, intimacy, sharing an ice cream together, buying your first home. All are what makes up the tapestry of your lifetime together-long or short. And that is what your lesson is. Not the behavior or the decisions made in the end. Why hold on to that? Why not hold on to the good and great that occurred on the journey? 

It is a learning. To stop the negative self talk and  try a little tenderness. For yourself. Think of one of those magic moments and be grateful for it. Recognize what you are fearing, and, talk about it. Get it in the open, write it down and learn to forgive it and let it go. Tiny steps for inner peace. Follow the movement of the trees as the breeze blows through. Focus on a hummingbird and the miraculousness of its movements. Love on an animal. Talk with someone and listen. Tiny steps to peace and freedom and harmony. Be present for someone. Be the lesson you want to share.
Be the Love you wish to see.

Hacked. Hacked in, hacked on, hacked off!

 How do people do it? How do they have the audacity to call someone up (someone like their mother, grandmother, sister, aunt....) and lie and steal from them? Take up hours of your time on repairing a monster of their own making, convincing you that your computer will CRASH AND BURN with everything lost. They convince you that this is your own fault, that you were unprotected from "these hackers", and you must pay them to fix it.

It all started one beautiful morning my computer started wailing and sending out big red letters saying DON'T TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER, YOU HAVE BEEN HACKED. CALL THIS NUMBER IMMMEDIATELY. DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER!!!! Knowing how much work I had left to do, I stupidly called. And spent the next 2 hours arguing with some...person.. somewhere in another world. A world where cheating people and harrassing them is A-OK. And after hours of fear of losing all my data (according to this ...person) I fork up a ridiculous amount of credit card debt just to get off the phone. And it did not end there. They got their money, now they want you to talk to their "billing expert". And after that  a young woman (whose mother would be sooo ashamed) ask you how was the service and you explain in clear, precise English that it was awful. And after you get off this most  humiliating phone experience all that is left to do is to cry. Cry because you just paid these persons to allow them control of your computer and nearly your accounts. And it's not over.

Every couple of days their number comes up and they want to chat with you about the service, "is everything going okay, make sure you don't call Microsoft for help, call us"until you refuse to answer, so next.....

They let you know that they have to refund all your money to you because the Better Business Bureau requires them to refund you because of a computer glitch on their end and they must refund you . And it begins again, the lengthy phone call, the hacking and suddenly YOU KNOW it is BS and you turn all the connections to them off and the ...person..starts calling you a f**king b**ch. And you hang up, only to have them call you back as though they are a "manager" and soon, they are back to calling you names. You hang up. And you stop answering and they continue to call everyday often and then it peters off and you take your computer to a reputable computer repair person who looks at you like you're dumb for not knowing right away you were being screwed. 

It is a painful experience and that is why I write about it. I consider myself pretty tech savvy and I fell for it. All the alarms going off with sounds I have never heard come from my computer really put me on edge. The correct thing to have done (against what my computer was screaming at me) is  TURN IT OFF. Hard exit, hold down the off button until it dies and call a reputable computer geek.

These persons are well spoken little monsters, it was easy to fall into conversation with them and to miss the signs that they were not legit. It was a painful learning experience that I would not wish on anyone (except these persons). And so I share it with you.