Today I release the disillusionment of yesterday. Of the division I felt. Media is shit, people are vindictive and unkind to suit their lack of significance. This kind of attitude fills me with awe, not inspiring awe, but, sick to my stomach awe. NO matter how unhappy I've been at times, I have never answered the call to be 'vindictive'. I just have never understood how I'd feel better by it. Or if I did, I hated how I felt. Even as I think of it today, it makes me sick. I think "How would this serve the greater good?" I don't believe I was put on this earth to be judge, jury and executioner.
Someone I once volunteered with in the Tony Robbins environment is rumoured to have started the Buzzfeed. Someone that Tony called a friend for many years. I worked closely with this person because I crewed the medical team and the medical team and security team worked pretty closely during the events. My first interpretation of this person was how stand-offish he was. He was not that approachable, but, who was I but a little volunteer. He lectured on "The Power of Truth". He challenged the crew to do 24 hours of telling only the truth. I was challenged by this in that I believe that sometimes it is stronger to be kind than truthful, but, that was me, the little nurse volunteer. The only time he actively sought me out was when he was unhappy with the Lead medical person. I think I felt a little honored. But that was the end of it, unless I spoke first he never acknowledged me. I thought, "this is what security people are like" although the rest of his team were always courteous, supportive and kind. I thought, "just different personalities".
I remember when his son died, I was living near the bridge and had been on it the week before. There was so much outpouring of love from the crew and the trainers. I know from losing my Mom that I was in a state of numb, weeks and months later people would remind me of conversations we had in those first few months and I could not remember. My nephew just passed away recently and I know my sister-in-law will probably not remember our late night conversations either.
When this person left the Tony environment, I was onto other things. I only heard about it through friends. But what I did notice was FB entries from this person saying some contradictory things about Tony. Some were hateful. And, of course, I thought WTF? And I blocked him, I was not really interested in hearing this sick rhetoric about Tony. As the Bible says, "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". My experience with Tony was always with integrity and kindness.
You, my friend, are not without sin. And it sounds like you have a huge bag of stones you are carrying around. Many of us know those sins/stones and yet, we do not feel the need to call you to the truth. Especially Tony.
Your "truths" have put a world of pain to many a heart. And what was the point? Did you need to feel even more significant than you do when you stand before your crowds and speak your "Power of Truth"? And where in your world does Integrity come in? All I can feel for you is pity. Pity that you left that environment with so little of it's gifts. It put you on the map. It surrounded you with people who did not judge you, who loved you and admired you. We cared that your child died and the circumstances were sad. We sent you love and prayers, but, it must not have been enough. Forgive us.
The definition of truth; the quality or state of true. Each of us has a truth within us, one that we have learned can change as we grow and bloom. It can open us up to a stronger and kinder world. We have a choice. Remember Tony's Blame Game? Might be a good time to review it.
